Daphne

Spring.

Circa 2005.

I’m on the roof

like I know I shouldn’t be,

but who’s to know

that I’m not cleaning

like a good girl?

I could blame this itch

I get in the spring

on whoever bought me

D'aulaire's Book of Greek Myths.

.

Since I read it

when I was about six,

I haven’t been able

to convince myself

that I’m not a nymph.

Nostalgia & Necco candy hearts

I grew up romantic.

Second grade,

I was a Juliet

with an unwilling Romeo.

I wrote tortured letters

full of promises

and SWAK.

I cried during love songs

and wrote the first

of my bad love poetry.

Valentine’s Day

was a day

electric with hope

and high expectations.

I’m older now

and wiser

…and nothing’s changed at all.

Biology 103

In freshman biology

I learned how to find

the diaphragm

in a pickled fetal pig.

I’d like you to know

mine’s not working

and hasn’t been

since you left.

I may have made

the right decision

to forget you,

but my body doesn’t agree.

Some piece of me

still turns when I hear

someone whose sound

reminds me of you.

My nose

remembers scents

that I associate

with wanting you.

That strange bit

of irrationality

that feels memory

in my chest…

That’s working just fine, thanks.

Easter Vacation

It’s drafty in here.

I need someone

to put plastic

over the windows

and turn up

the electric blanket

and bring me some tea.

It’s been a long winter

and this spring

doesn’t seem very green.

This Easter

is colder than any

I can remember.

My legs are goose-pimply

under my skirt

and I want to go home.

I don’t eat pork anymore

anyway.

I wonder if someday

I’ll have to pay penance

for the lies I told

to save your face.

The Bass Line

I have these dreams

where I’m being chased.

I dive into a car

and flip the lock

just as their fingertips

grasp the handle

and I cower in the seat

as cracks spiderweb

across the shatter-resistant glass

And then I wake up.

I got into the car that night

and I locked the doors

manually

and turned up the music

and turned on the heat

and put down the seat

and concentrated

on the base line

humming through my body,

beating me in a way

I was too scared to do myself.

What will I do

with the absence of you?

What. will. I. do.

with. the. ab. sence. of. you?